*Screams*

[tuxedo_elf]

OK, so my inlaws have gone away for Christmas. This meant that BiL would have been on his own unless he came here. He is NOT my favourite person, but no one should be alone at this time of year, right? So I agreed - he arrived late Friday.

Today we were supposed to be doing some last-minute shopping. We were leaving at midday and he knew this. At 11.50 he still wasn't up. By 12.20 I said to Neal something along the lines of 'I can't wait around all day, let's go and let him sleep.' So we did. I'm assuming he heard this.

When we returned about four hours later he was all standoffish, told Neal he 'didn't feel up to going for a drink' and then, when our backs were turned, he just LEFT. Didn't say anything, just slipped out. We noticed within ten minutes, but he was already gone - though I've no idea where. He's not answering calls or texts.

This is not the first time he's done this, but it infuriates me. Neal needed his help to get the house ready - there's some stuff that needs doing that I currently can't do. Every time he hears something he doesn't like, he runs away. He's about 35 years old!!! At his age, you should be used to hearing things you may not like!

I admit, I could have been more tactful. But I don't think I was what you'd call RUDE. I'm not even sure it was because of that - it may have been because we actually *did* leave him. But were we supposed to wait all day?!

I just find what he's done incredibly rude and ungrateful. Despite that, I still don't think he should be alone for Christmas. But how can you help someone who won't help themselves?!

Comments

[chaotic-binky.livejournal.com]

I don't think you can help those who will not help themselves. He is in your house now and your guest, he should behave himself.

Hope everything goes better. Hugs Binky x x x

[enismirdal.livejournal.com]

Argh! He has no right to ruin your Christmas by acting like some emo teenager. Perhaps letting him have this Christmas on his own to stew and reflect on being an ungrateful little so-and-so will be good for him!

But argh that it means you can't get all the house-preparation done!

How go the fsh?

[yeesalu.livejournal.com]

It's incredibly childish for a man his age to flounce off in a snit. He had a lovely offer for Christmas and instead chose to be alone. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you -- he knew what the plan was and was very inconsiderate not to be up and ready when it was time to leave. Don't let him ruin your Christmas.

[delaese.livejournal.com]

Hon the problem is he is used to making people chase him. He relys on it. This is how he gets his jollies. It's his own little happy power trip. You opened your home to him and he repays you with bullshit. My advice - do not chase him. Do not say anything. Once he figures out no one is running after him saying "There there woobie, I'm sorry," he will drag his ass back.

::Hugs.::

[mirien.livejournal.com]

You weren't rude, but he was! Dear gods, does he not even have a basic grasp of manners? And then to run off like some brat? *snort*

[jastaelf.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, take it from one who tried for 29 years to get someone I loved to help himself: you can't. HE has to. And if he won't... he won't. :( Sad, really... just breathe, and pray for him.

Happy Christmas regardless!

Hugs,
Jasta

[daeomae.livejournal.com]

Sounds like he's closer to 13 than 35. *rolls eyes*

Honey, if that's the worst thing that's ever said to or about him in his life, he's going to be getting off so very easy. Don't worry yourself over it too much. If he wants to go off and have his little pity party, let him. You just enjoy hubby and baby tux-to-be. *pets you*

*Mwah*

[sildil]

You did the right thing, he's behaving like a spoilt child and maybe this is why he IS alone at Christmas. No you weren't supposed to wait all day, if he knew you wanted to go out, then he should have followed your plans.

[nienna-weeper.livejournal.com]

You can't help someone who won't help themselves. And you can't control one iota of his behavior. You can control your attitude toward him though... and he's bound to do some nasty stuff again, given his immaturity. So, let it go and be open and honest with him. Set some limits if you need to and be loving.

You're such a sweetheart, Tux. Remember to ask for what you need. *smooches*

BIL

[geuzegirly.livejournal.com]

Hmm....I remember you failing to get up when staying with us once....but you didn't have a snit, just rolled over and went back to sleep which actually suited all concerned!
No, he shouldn't be alone at Christmas but NEITHER SHOULD HE GET AWAY WITH TRYING TO GET EVERYTHING DONE HIS WAY OR NOT AT ALL? Think ahead...would you let Baby Tuxie do this to you two in a couple of years time. BIL is just being his usual self and IT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You've done your bit THIS IS NEAL'S PROBLEM.

PS Clever Bob and Mary for going away.....they've obviously had years of this with him.

PPS Would you like us to drop him off somewhere late Xmas day (no, honey, didn't mean Ashford reservoir!)

[trekqueen.livejournal.com]

heh don't worry you were well within your right to leave and say something. actually he reminds me a bit of a friend's uncle who prides himself on being the center of attention so when someone doesnt do everything in their power for him, he gets pissy at them and does the uber guilt trip and silent treatment. *le sigh* here's to hoping he doesnt totally ruin the holiday.