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Last entry today, I promise!
Title: The Lost Hunter
Author: Tuxedo Elf
Rating: PG13/R
Pairing: Celegorm/Oromë
Beta: Eni
Warnings: Slightly AU (Oromë being, well, not married!)
Summary: Oromë reflects on what once was.
Notes: I’m a fan of blond Celegorm, so that’s how he appears in this fic.
Power, glory, respect and honour. All of these I had, all of these I still have. Yet they have changed, are no longer what they were. Once I thought they were everything, that with them I could want for nothing for they would bring me all I desired. For a time, they did. They brought me you. But something went wrong, along the way, something was lost. For while those attributes I cherished brought you to me, they were not enough to keep you.
I still do not understand why. We had so much, the whole of eternity laid out before us. I gave you my all and thought you gave me the same. Perhaps for a time you did. At least, that is what I like to think.
Do you remember the first time we met? Your hunt had led you deep into my lands. So intent on your quarry, you had not noticed that you had crossed my borders. Nor did you know that I had sensed you long before and was watching you. As far as you were concerned, noting existed except you and your prey.
That single-mindedness impressed me; few had the ability to concentrate on something so completely. I did not know it then, but that would be your undoing. That day I watched as you stalked your elusive prey. You waited, waited for the perfect moment. When it came, you struck without hesitation and the beast – a deer of some skill and cunning – fell dead before it knew it was being hunted.
Only then, when you went to claim the beast, was the spell broken, and it was then that I approached you.
Oh, how horrified you were when you realised into whose lands you had strayed. I could see it in your eyes, the fear of what price you would have to pay for such a transgression. When did that fear leave you, I wonder? Yet you never once tried to run, but stayed, facing me. Afraid or not, you would accept my ruling and my respect for you grew as you forced the fear aside and stood tall, a true Prince of the Noldor.
Yet even you could not hide your relief when, instead of showing anger, I praised your skill and bade you hunt with me the rest of the day. Then I saw the first show of pride and it seemed to me that you grew even taller as you accepted.
I hunted little myself that day – preferring to watch you. I realised quickly that your success was due to your great understanding of that which you hunted. It was a great gift and one that I knew could be further improved upon. Right then I vowed that I would ensure you reached your full potential. It had been long since I had seen such a gift in one of the Eldar.
When the light waned our hunt ended and you made to return to your home. Yet before you left I told you that I hoped to see you again in my woods, that you were always welcome. To that I will hold, until the end of time.
I was delighted when you returned just days later and this time we hunted together. I took the opportunity to teach you some new tricks and discovered in doing so that you were a quick and eager student. You were able to immerse yourself in the ways of the animals and I knew that it would be little effort to teach you their languages. You were born for it.
For months we continued this way, meeting in the woods for the hunt. Your skills blossomed before my eyes and I felt pride untold as I saw you call to the birds and follow trails the foxes left for you. You were magnificent, on the way to becoming the greatest hunter on Eä. One day you would turn those skills to evil uses, but at that time you were still innocent: the hunt was just a test of skill and a means to help provide for your family.
As time passed I became aware of your other attributes…You were excellent company with a sharp wit, though your temper was fierce. Vala I may be, still I would not wish to be on the receiving end of it. You were also beautiful in face and form and it was I who first called you fair. I found I desired to know you better than I already did.
I invited you to the Winter Hunt, the biggest gathering of Hunters in Valinor. I knew beyond any doubt that you would impress the others and then we would celebrate our victories with a great feast at my house. That feast, I hoped, would give me the opportunity to change things between us.
You accepted with pleasure and pride, your eyes bright with anticipation. What were you anticipating, I wondered? Did you know what it was I desired? Did you desire it too? I hoped so, for I would never take what was not freely given.
The day came and you rode in on you father’s best steed, your bow at your back and knives at your side. Though young, you had an air of one much older about you and no one dared to question your right to be amongst them.
I let you ride beside me, keen to see how well you did that day. Did you know how many eyes were watching you? You never said, but I think you did and yet were not at all troubled. Instead you set out to prove yourself, succeeding all too easily. Any beast you tracked fell to your bow and had you wished, you could have provided the entire feast on your own. By the end of the hunt, your name was halfway to legend. Your kills were second only to mine and I felt pride welling in my chest, even though I had no claim to you yet.
When you arrived for dinner, I thought that I was looking upon another Vala. Dressed in green, gold and brown, you looked every bit a member of my house. Your hair shone like the sun and if any had forgotten, they were swiftly reminded that you were a prince of the highest house of Elves.
All through the feast I could not tear my eyes from you, as you talked and drank with the other hunters, your cheeks eventually becoming pink from the effects of the wine.
It was then that I took you aside, before the drink could impair your judgement. I paused only long enough to find a private spot before pressing the first kiss to your lips.
I had feared learning your reaction to my feelings, yet Eru was smiling on me that day. You returned my kiss eagerly and it was with great delight that I finally took you into my arms. It was I who first discovered your people on the shores on the Hither Lands, yet I have never known one as alluring as you. You had stolen my heart completely and I had no cause for complaint.
Perhaps it was too soon, but I took you to my bed that night. Such delight I took in stripping those fine clothes away and baring your far more glorious body to my eyes.
You gave yourself to me without reservation and my heart soared as I lay you down before me. So beautiful you were, with golden hair spread about your head like beams of Laurelin’s light. I felt like a fraud in that moment, I had chosen the form I inhabited, but you were real, perfect without so much as trying. I let my hands run over your silken skin and watched as you writhed on the bed, your passion making my own desire increase. The touch of you sent feelings unknown racing through me and I, who thought I knew so much, realised then that I had been ignorant in the ways of love. This was Eru’s greatest gift; this joining of body and fëa, and any previous couplings fell into nothing as I explored the delights of your body.
When I entered you I felt your spirit meeting mine and I was awed by the power of it. Never before had I sensed such in one not of the Valar. I voiced my surprise and pleasure loudly and a smile came to my lips as you responded in kind. Looking down upon your face I saw so much in your eyes… love, desire and devotion, to name but a few.
I moved to give you pleasure, to see those blue eyes shine with your inner light. Our bodies joined we lost ourselves in each other and for the first time in all my existence, nothing else mattered.
The climax of our passion came in a burst of light that left me stunned and with your name on my lips. Warmth, both physical and emotional touched me and I smiled as your spent form all but collapsed into my arms. I pulled you close and whispered the first words of love into your ear, knowing my heart was now yours completely and that yours was also mine.
From that day forth we were rarely apart. You still lived with your family, yet barely a day went by when you did not visit. Our love was many things and that kept it fresh – sometimes we would spend evenings making love by the fire, other days we were content just to sit together, and on occasion we would give in to carnal pleasure and have our way with each other wherever and whenever the mood took us. We could talk, love, laugh and play without cease it seemed.
I gave to you a great gift – Huan, a faithful hound. He spoke the tongue of Elves, though by now you could speak to him in any language you chose. All the languages of birds and beasts you knew and the world around you listened when you spoke.
Centuries passed and our love continued to grow. You had more siblings and I watched with delight and amusement as you unfailingly brought each one to visit. The day the twins announced that they too wished to learn to hunt, I thought you would burst with pride. That day, I thought nothing could ever tear us apart.
Yet it was not to be. Though we had centuries of bliss, the passing of time brought events I had not foreseen.
With the other Vala, I had sung the praises of your father when he created the Silmarils. It was such an achievement and I knew you were proud of him too. Had I known that those jewels would tear us apart, I would not have rejoiced so.
Your father changed after that and as a result, so did you. Your visits became less frequent and I felt as though you were withdrawing from me. Still, when Melkor attacked and destroyed the trees, you rode out by my side and even in the darkness I had hope that all was not lost for us.
When your father refused to give us the jewels so that we might restore light to the world, I was shocked and horrified. I could not understand why he would deny his people the light. Little did we know that it was merely the start of his descent into madness.
On your next visit, I implored you to speak with him, to sway his heart. I was so sure you would agree and aid me that your refusal felt like a physical wound. For the first time we fought, our voices raised in anger as cruel words were spoken. I blamed the darkness for driving us to such rage, but the truth was I had suspected things were not right between us for some time.
Perhaps it was a measure of foresight that stopped me from letting you leave before our tempers had cooled. I apologised, though I stood by my thoughts, and at last you relented too, offering your own regret for the fight, if not for the reasons behind it.
You stayed that night and we did not rest until nearly dawn, enjoying each other’s love and bodies. We slept with the dawn chorus, entwined in a deep embrace.
Not until noon did we rise again and by then you had to leave. As you rode away you told me you loved me and promised to visit again soon.
You did not.
I never saw you ride up to my house again, nor came home to find you waiting in my bed. You never met me for another hunt.
Before you could come again the Silmarils were stolen and the terrible oath was sworn. I heard your voice in my heart as you spoke it and I felt something inside me die. In grief, I shut you out of my heart, not wishing to know the terrible things that might happen because of it.
Not that I could have missed the news. Word of the kinslayings soon reached my ears and it sickened me to know that you, my proud and noble hunter, had been a part of it. I will never understand why you chose such a path, why my love was not enough for you.
All I have to comfort me now is the knowledge that we will meet again.
Your life walks a dangerous road now and I grieve each time I hear of your wicked deeds. You have killed, manipulated and lusted after one who will never love you – and who I do not believe you truly love.
In time, you will meet your fate and will come at last to the halls of my kinsman, Mandos. When that day comes I will seek you there and hope that in death you can find repentance and peace. Perhaps when that happens, you will love me again. That is the hope I cling to, and a desire that I cannot bring myself to relinquish.
Until then, all I have are my memories.
THE END
Title: The Lost Hunter
Author: Tuxedo Elf
Rating: PG13/R
Pairing: Celegorm/Oromë
Beta: Eni
Warnings: Slightly AU (Oromë being, well, not married!)
Summary: Oromë reflects on what once was.
Notes: I’m a fan of blond Celegorm, so that’s how he appears in this fic.
Power, glory, respect and honour. All of these I had, all of these I still have. Yet they have changed, are no longer what they were. Once I thought they were everything, that with them I could want for nothing for they would bring me all I desired. For a time, they did. They brought me you. But something went wrong, along the way, something was lost. For while those attributes I cherished brought you to me, they were not enough to keep you.
I still do not understand why. We had so much, the whole of eternity laid out before us. I gave you my all and thought you gave me the same. Perhaps for a time you did. At least, that is what I like to think.
Do you remember the first time we met? Your hunt had led you deep into my lands. So intent on your quarry, you had not noticed that you had crossed my borders. Nor did you know that I had sensed you long before and was watching you. As far as you were concerned, noting existed except you and your prey.
That single-mindedness impressed me; few had the ability to concentrate on something so completely. I did not know it then, but that would be your undoing. That day I watched as you stalked your elusive prey. You waited, waited for the perfect moment. When it came, you struck without hesitation and the beast – a deer of some skill and cunning – fell dead before it knew it was being hunted.
Only then, when you went to claim the beast, was the spell broken, and it was then that I approached you.
Oh, how horrified you were when you realised into whose lands you had strayed. I could see it in your eyes, the fear of what price you would have to pay for such a transgression. When did that fear leave you, I wonder? Yet you never once tried to run, but stayed, facing me. Afraid or not, you would accept my ruling and my respect for you grew as you forced the fear aside and stood tall, a true Prince of the Noldor.
Yet even you could not hide your relief when, instead of showing anger, I praised your skill and bade you hunt with me the rest of the day. Then I saw the first show of pride and it seemed to me that you grew even taller as you accepted.
I hunted little myself that day – preferring to watch you. I realised quickly that your success was due to your great understanding of that which you hunted. It was a great gift and one that I knew could be further improved upon. Right then I vowed that I would ensure you reached your full potential. It had been long since I had seen such a gift in one of the Eldar.
When the light waned our hunt ended and you made to return to your home. Yet before you left I told you that I hoped to see you again in my woods, that you were always welcome. To that I will hold, until the end of time.
I was delighted when you returned just days later and this time we hunted together. I took the opportunity to teach you some new tricks and discovered in doing so that you were a quick and eager student. You were able to immerse yourself in the ways of the animals and I knew that it would be little effort to teach you their languages. You were born for it.
For months we continued this way, meeting in the woods for the hunt. Your skills blossomed before my eyes and I felt pride untold as I saw you call to the birds and follow trails the foxes left for you. You were magnificent, on the way to becoming the greatest hunter on Eä. One day you would turn those skills to evil uses, but at that time you were still innocent: the hunt was just a test of skill and a means to help provide for your family.
As time passed I became aware of your other attributes…You were excellent company with a sharp wit, though your temper was fierce. Vala I may be, still I would not wish to be on the receiving end of it. You were also beautiful in face and form and it was I who first called you fair. I found I desired to know you better than I already did.
I invited you to the Winter Hunt, the biggest gathering of Hunters in Valinor. I knew beyond any doubt that you would impress the others and then we would celebrate our victories with a great feast at my house. That feast, I hoped, would give me the opportunity to change things between us.
You accepted with pleasure and pride, your eyes bright with anticipation. What were you anticipating, I wondered? Did you know what it was I desired? Did you desire it too? I hoped so, for I would never take what was not freely given.
The day came and you rode in on you father’s best steed, your bow at your back and knives at your side. Though young, you had an air of one much older about you and no one dared to question your right to be amongst them.
I let you ride beside me, keen to see how well you did that day. Did you know how many eyes were watching you? You never said, but I think you did and yet were not at all troubled. Instead you set out to prove yourself, succeeding all too easily. Any beast you tracked fell to your bow and had you wished, you could have provided the entire feast on your own. By the end of the hunt, your name was halfway to legend. Your kills were second only to mine and I felt pride welling in my chest, even though I had no claim to you yet.
When you arrived for dinner, I thought that I was looking upon another Vala. Dressed in green, gold and brown, you looked every bit a member of my house. Your hair shone like the sun and if any had forgotten, they were swiftly reminded that you were a prince of the highest house of Elves.
All through the feast I could not tear my eyes from you, as you talked and drank with the other hunters, your cheeks eventually becoming pink from the effects of the wine.
It was then that I took you aside, before the drink could impair your judgement. I paused only long enough to find a private spot before pressing the first kiss to your lips.
I had feared learning your reaction to my feelings, yet Eru was smiling on me that day. You returned my kiss eagerly and it was with great delight that I finally took you into my arms. It was I who first discovered your people on the shores on the Hither Lands, yet I have never known one as alluring as you. You had stolen my heart completely and I had no cause for complaint.
Perhaps it was too soon, but I took you to my bed that night. Such delight I took in stripping those fine clothes away and baring your far more glorious body to my eyes.
You gave yourself to me without reservation and my heart soared as I lay you down before me. So beautiful you were, with golden hair spread about your head like beams of Laurelin’s light. I felt like a fraud in that moment, I had chosen the form I inhabited, but you were real, perfect without so much as trying. I let my hands run over your silken skin and watched as you writhed on the bed, your passion making my own desire increase. The touch of you sent feelings unknown racing through me and I, who thought I knew so much, realised then that I had been ignorant in the ways of love. This was Eru’s greatest gift; this joining of body and fëa, and any previous couplings fell into nothing as I explored the delights of your body.
When I entered you I felt your spirit meeting mine and I was awed by the power of it. Never before had I sensed such in one not of the Valar. I voiced my surprise and pleasure loudly and a smile came to my lips as you responded in kind. Looking down upon your face I saw so much in your eyes… love, desire and devotion, to name but a few.
I moved to give you pleasure, to see those blue eyes shine with your inner light. Our bodies joined we lost ourselves in each other and for the first time in all my existence, nothing else mattered.
The climax of our passion came in a burst of light that left me stunned and with your name on my lips. Warmth, both physical and emotional touched me and I smiled as your spent form all but collapsed into my arms. I pulled you close and whispered the first words of love into your ear, knowing my heart was now yours completely and that yours was also mine.
From that day forth we were rarely apart. You still lived with your family, yet barely a day went by when you did not visit. Our love was many things and that kept it fresh – sometimes we would spend evenings making love by the fire, other days we were content just to sit together, and on occasion we would give in to carnal pleasure and have our way with each other wherever and whenever the mood took us. We could talk, love, laugh and play without cease it seemed.
I gave to you a great gift – Huan, a faithful hound. He spoke the tongue of Elves, though by now you could speak to him in any language you chose. All the languages of birds and beasts you knew and the world around you listened when you spoke.
Centuries passed and our love continued to grow. You had more siblings and I watched with delight and amusement as you unfailingly brought each one to visit. The day the twins announced that they too wished to learn to hunt, I thought you would burst with pride. That day, I thought nothing could ever tear us apart.
Yet it was not to be. Though we had centuries of bliss, the passing of time brought events I had not foreseen.
With the other Vala, I had sung the praises of your father when he created the Silmarils. It was such an achievement and I knew you were proud of him too. Had I known that those jewels would tear us apart, I would not have rejoiced so.
Your father changed after that and as a result, so did you. Your visits became less frequent and I felt as though you were withdrawing from me. Still, when Melkor attacked and destroyed the trees, you rode out by my side and even in the darkness I had hope that all was not lost for us.
When your father refused to give us the jewels so that we might restore light to the world, I was shocked and horrified. I could not understand why he would deny his people the light. Little did we know that it was merely the start of his descent into madness.
On your next visit, I implored you to speak with him, to sway his heart. I was so sure you would agree and aid me that your refusal felt like a physical wound. For the first time we fought, our voices raised in anger as cruel words were spoken. I blamed the darkness for driving us to such rage, but the truth was I had suspected things were not right between us for some time.
Perhaps it was a measure of foresight that stopped me from letting you leave before our tempers had cooled. I apologised, though I stood by my thoughts, and at last you relented too, offering your own regret for the fight, if not for the reasons behind it.
You stayed that night and we did not rest until nearly dawn, enjoying each other’s love and bodies. We slept with the dawn chorus, entwined in a deep embrace.
Not until noon did we rise again and by then you had to leave. As you rode away you told me you loved me and promised to visit again soon.
You did not.
I never saw you ride up to my house again, nor came home to find you waiting in my bed. You never met me for another hunt.
Before you could come again the Silmarils were stolen and the terrible oath was sworn. I heard your voice in my heart as you spoke it and I felt something inside me die. In grief, I shut you out of my heart, not wishing to know the terrible things that might happen because of it.
Not that I could have missed the news. Word of the kinslayings soon reached my ears and it sickened me to know that you, my proud and noble hunter, had been a part of it. I will never understand why you chose such a path, why my love was not enough for you.
All I have to comfort me now is the knowledge that we will meet again.
Your life walks a dangerous road now and I grieve each time I hear of your wicked deeds. You have killed, manipulated and lusted after one who will never love you – and who I do not believe you truly love.
In time, you will meet your fate and will come at last to the halls of my kinsman, Mandos. When that day comes I will seek you there and hope that in death you can find repentance and peace. Perhaps when that happens, you will love me again. That is the hope I cling to, and a desire that I cannot bring myself to relinquish.
Until then, all I have are my memories.
THE END
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Date: 2006-02-22 03:54 pm (UTC)From:Wonderful, Tux!
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Date: 2006-03-01 11:08 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2006-02-22 08:43 pm (UTC)From: (Anonymous)Ro
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Date: 2006-03-01 11:09 pm (UTC)From: